Is $55k enough to live here?

2022.01.19 01:42 Lakernation123x Is $55k enough to live here?

I'm referring to the bay area in general - oakland, hanford, sf, or even berkeley.
Mid 20's, single, no car payment, and no student loans (or any debt).
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2022.01.19 01:42 StonedCrypto On day 23 of my post covid fever had my grandma's funeral

She passed away from COVID Sunday after a week in the hospital. Due to upcoming weather and funeral home schedule this morning was the best time.
I'm double vaxxed and boosted and on Dec 27th, 5 days before wedding, I tested positive and still have a fever 23 days later. Yesterday was a little over 100 and today was a little under 100.
Luckily the brain fog seems to be disappearing the past few days just can't shake this fever.
Covid sucks
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2022.01.19 01:42 JRP12321 Where to find the Tax Forms for 2021 youtube earnings?

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2022.01.19 01:42 confusedrabbit247 How long after trauma did it take for you to be able to be intimate with your partner again, and what things did you do to get there?

Trigger warning for r, csa, etc
So I feel I should explain what happened in order for you to understand where I'm coming from. I know it's a long story but I just need to talk to someone about it who understands and can help me. I do want to say up front that I didn't experience physical trauma personally. I appreciate you taking the time for this, here goes:
My paternal grandfather died 10 years ago. My paternal grandmother died July 2020. After she died, we (me, my mom, and my dad) started going through her house looking for money she had hidden (she had told us she'd hidden it before she died) and any other important documents to keep before getting rid of all the material stuff. During this search I found court documents about something I couldn't believe. It was a case involving my grandfather in the 1960s, then a mailman, regarding his attempted rape of a woman on his route. I didn't read the whole thing at the time, but it seemed a highly suspicious situation, and he was ultimately fired from the post office (my dad had said his leaving the PO was always mysterious but never explained). My parents and I discussed that maybe he was cheating on my grandmother and the lady's husband walked in and discovered them, so she made up the accusations to cover her tracks. We came up with any excuses for it to not have been rape. My grandmother was notoriously a nasty, racist woman, always putting everyone down and generally miserable overall— no one would have blamed him, so it seemed sensible. Despite our guesses, my parents asked me not to tell my sisters about it, or anyone for that matter. I kept it to myself, and kept my doubts, too.
Fast forward to March 2021, I experienced a very emotionally charged incident with my cousin while we were hanging out together at the park. Long story short, there was a black man having a mental health crisis and many police involved. Everything was okay in the end, but it was incredibly scary and my cousin was absolutely freaked. Like I'd never seen my cousin so emotional and we've known each other all our lives. This was a triggering event for my cousin that would open up a world of pain for all of us as family.
Fast forward again to April 2021, my cousin (same cousin) calls me and says they have something important to share with me and that it's a heavy subject. My cousin shares with me that the incident at the park triggered repressed memories of our grandfather raping them when we were kids. Their first memory of it was at my paternal aunt's funeral (this cousin's mom) when my cousin was 9. Needless to say, my entire world changed after this revelation. Having seen their reaction to the park incident, plus having prior knowledge of him doing something similar as I mentioned before, there is no doubt in my mind that it happened. My cousin asked me not to talk about it to anyone aside from my husband and my other cousins (their siblings) whom they'd already shared it with. So I didn't tell my parents or my siblings.
I struggled every day. It felt like I was ripped apart and something in me died. It was a full body reaction where I was constantly crying, vomiting, having diarrhea. My brain, my heart, my soul, everything was shattered and broken to the core. There is a shadow there now that no light will ever touch again. My therapist said I'm going through an identity crisis and have depersonalization/derealization disorder. She explained that the way I love my cousin sounds more like how a parent loves a child, and that is why I've reacted so strongly to the situation even though I didn't personally experience the physical trauma. I don't have kids so I don't know, but she's given me tools to work through these things and it's been very helpful. Healing isn't linear.
Fast forward again to November 2021, my cousin finally decided to share their trauma with the rest of the family (meaning my parents and sisters). My sisters both doubted that it was true. They didn't want to believe he did that to our cousin, of course (I can't blame them). So my mom finally told them about the court case and the documents we found. Not only that, but after making a call to my maternal aunt to talk about it, we learned he attempted things on my aunt as well when she was 15 (back in the 1980s). She never said anything because she didn't want to ruin my parents wedding which was happening shortly in the future. I don't blame her of course, but if she had said something maybe my cousin could have been spared. We will never know.
All this to say, I'm not the same person I was back before I knew, and this whole thing has 100% affected my relationship with my husband, mostly our sex life. I've talked to him about it and how he's not at fault, but said sex isn't on the table for now. He's been supportive mostly but it's still really difficult. He doesn't fully understand because there is a language barrier, and in general I think he often forgets how much it's affected me, even after so much time has passed. I love my husband, I'm attracted to him, I trust him, and I want to have sex with him; but it's honestly painful now when he touches me. He'll grab my boobs and they are so sensitive and painful. I used to enjoy giving him oral but now the idea makes me gag, not in the good way, and I'm too sensitive for him to go down on me now. And especially when we would have sex before I said I can't, penetration felt like I was being stabbed with a knife. Honestly every time afterwards he'd fall asleep and I'd go cry in the bathroom alone because it just hurt, physically and emotionally. I feel like he is slipping away because I can't connect with him through sex even though I want to. I've healed a lot, but I can still tell something is fucked up inside me and idk what to do, how to fix it. I can't afford therapy RN otherwise I'd reach out to my therapist. I know it's a direct result of this stuff but I don't know what to work on to heal that part so I can reconnect with my husband in that way again. I miss him.
So for anyone still reading, ultimately I'm wondering how long after trauma did it take for you to be able to be intimate with your partner again, and what things did you do to get there? What things can I have my husband do to help me through my healing? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for reading
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2022.01.19 01:42 ivanbayoukhi Hello everyone! Usually I invite people to my subreddit but lately people aren’t getting my invites? The invite is a built in system from the Reddit mobile app but lately people aren’t receiving them??? Help friends 🚀

Usually I invite people to my subreddit but lately people aren’t getting my invites? The invite is a built in system from the Reddit mobile app but lately people aren’t receiving them??? Help friends 🚀
Thank you for the help
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2022.01.19 01:42 Smellyjuney Why was everyone so mad?

I literally just finished the final volume a couple minutes ago and was quite surprised by the ending. There were tons of people telling me how awful it was, but I honestly really liked it. I just want to know why people thought other wise.
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2022.01.19 01:42 joiursd I know this is a long shot, but does anyone have notes for Sociology of family readings that they would be willing to share? for those who have already taken the course ofc

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